Gentlemen Appreciation Post

It doesn't take much to brighten a day.  Little things can be hugely encouraging.  Unexpected courtesies can bring a smile and a sense of fellowship.

It's cliche.  But the fact remains that a man opening a door for a lady is a pleasant surprise.  I don't know if guys realize just how much girls like that.  When I'm with certain people, I know that I won't be touching any door knobs.  It's a little thing, but it makes me smile.  I have a different level of respect for those men.  It demonstrates that they thought ahead.

One of my cousins is particularly good at walking between me and potential hazards.  When we're walking and we're approached by a stranger, he will actually switch sides to walk between me and the stranger.  It sounds small, but it demonstrates that he cares enough to watch out for me.

Then there's guys who carry things for us - I'm still learning to appreciate that one.  I think I'm not alone when I say that it can be difficult to accept that kind of help.  I can bait my own hook, load my own gun, and carry my own groceries, thank you very much - I wasn't raised to be a shelf ornament!  But it's worth it to learn to gracefully accept help.  I'm learning that it's not that guys think you can't, they just know you shouldn't have to.  It's another demonstration of their care.

Another under-used courtesy is eye contact, a smile, and a "hello!"  It makes it 10 hundred times easier to be a lady when a man has communicated that he's not afraid of you.  A handshake is a major plus, as well.  I have a friend who is particularly good at this one - a simple greeting to break the ice.

Then there's little, quirky things that might be unique to specific individuals, but are still manifestations of gentlemanliness.  I have a friend who tips his hat to people.  It's fantastic.  A cousin who always makes sure people's tires are properly filled.  It's very endearing.  A friend who still pulls out chairs for ladies.  Why did men stop doing that??

Or how 'bout a young man who is watching a movie which he already seen with a lady who is watching it for the first time.  He knows from previous conversations that she's not a fan of gratuitous violence.  Part way through the film he tells her that there's a scene that she won't like and he'll tell her when to look away.  About 5 minutes later, he tells her to look away.  She's just about to ask if it's noisy, because she doesn't like hearing violence, either, when he gets up and mutes the TV for the duration of the problem scene.  True story.  It would be great for any guy to be that tuned in to a lady.  But this young man is 11.  I was floored.

So to all the gentlemen I know, Thank You.  We do actually notice when you go out of your way to be courteous.

To the gals, thank the gentlemen you know.  Remember that it takes effort and forethought for them to be gentlemen.

A couple of streams of consciousness...

In the past month or so, it seems like God has really been impressing on me the need to strengthen relationships.  I don’t do friendship well.  I’ve had the same best friend for almost half of my life.  Other than that, I don’t have a whole lot of friends whom I’ve endeavored to stay close to.  I definitely don’t put enough effort into making friends.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.  John 13:34-35

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another;  Romans 12:10

Because relationships require time, effort, and vulnerability, it can be easy to shy away from meaningful friendships.  It's lots easier to be acquainted with someone than to truly know them.  Or let them know you.

I think, too, especially among homeschoolers, there's a tendency to turn inward when problems arise.  Many of us, many of our parents, became used to standing alone.  When you've chosen a way of life which is radically different and widely frowned upon, you have to be able to stand on your own two feet.  Independence is something that we value.

For those of us who are the oldest in a family, there is added pressure to be strong - to be the good one, to set a good example, and, well, stay ahead of the youngers.

But is it really right to bear our burdens alone?

If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?  James 2:15-16

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

How can we bear each other's burdens or meet needs if we don't know what they are?

I've come to realize that we are not autonomous - we belong to the body of Christ.  And sometimes - and this I find terrifying - ministering to an unbeliever means sharing one's struggles.  Imagine that!  Admitting to an unsaved individual that christians aren't prefect.  Eek!  Not only that, but sometimes we might need to admit a younger sibling that we don't have it all together.  *profound shudder*

I have multiple friends right now who are, like me, struggling with the reality of of being a single daughter.  Why aren't we more willing to lean on each other?  I am not at all pointing fingers here - I am terribly stubborn about talking over issues, I internalize WAY too much.  I have no right to condemn others.  But seriously, how many of us think about crying in front of somebody and say "Nope.  Not happening."  Why are tears a bad thing?  Why are sorrow and heartache so hard to share?  

Another thought that keeps popping up in my mind was sparked by a sermon which I heard a couple of weeks ago.

In Deuteronomy 25:17-19, God commands Israel to "blot" Amalek from earth when they take possession of the promised land.  That was one of the tribes which Israel ended up leaving a remnant of.  So, of course, the Amalekites plague them for awhile.  Then, in 1 Samuel 15, along comes Saul with the command to utterly destroy them.  However he, too, leaves a remnant.  I had never before put together the connection between Haman and the Amalekites.  Haman is called the "Agagite," likely referring to Agag, the king of Amalek.  Because Israel didn't destroy them in the beginning,  the Amalekites continued to strive with them for literally hundreds of years.


Isn't that also true of sin?  When we are convicted of a particular area of sin in our life, do we truly flee from it or do we just kind of get rid of most of it?  Wouldn't it be better to completely reject any trace of sin rather than leave it til we're really weak and vulnerable (like the Israelites in Esther)?

So, there's a smattering of what I've been thinking about lately :)